It is never to late to start growing.

Its November 1, 2011 in Highland, Indiana.  Sleep wasn't pleasant last night, and I kept my eyes wide open planning and figuring out problems in bed.  Yesterdays Halloween party was short and sweet as
I arrived during the last hour of the party.  I ate more pizza, and a cream puff while sitting around a fire with my wonderful cousins Peter, Jack, and Victoria.  My cousin Mark left shortly as I arrived with his dad.  I wasn't prepared to see them I thought when I pulled to the curb to park.  My mind went blank, and I grew hostile to the environment after turning off the radio, and leaving behind my cell phone in the car.

As I began to parallel park between two big vans I heard a loud slap on the back of the car I was driving and it wasn't the van behind me it was my Aunt Cecil who told me not to move.  I felt my blood begin to curdle and sparks of rage in which I may have inherited from my dads style, burning up the surface of my skin.  Control yourself I wish I would have thought and probably didnt since I ignored her and just pulled out from between my snug parking job believing it would be the right thing to do.

The cold air and the smoky fire going out in the grill was pleasant for the occasion.  Time for that moment stood still, and the dark night carried me into listening to the wise cracks and jokes from my cousins and buckets of laughter with no surprise.  Upon leaving that night, I stoppped to walk with my young cousin Victoria and confidently told her I am turning out like my mom. I had subtle delirium tickling my words as I thought about how hard I tried for a few seasons to be the opposite of mother creating my own havoc and disaster upon my life.  Right away young Victoria an aspiring actress in theater told me that thats a good thing! "To be like your mother!"  She exclaimed.

I could write pages on my cousins and most likely will in my future as precious and wonderful and they are, and as we parted ways that night, I went to bed around 10:00p and was up all through the night from 3am until 6am calling friends, and my boyfriend until someone answered.  I was left imagining them all partying in costumes through the night of October 2011 without me.